Summer in the South.

We who are native Southerners, which is state of mind as much as it is a place of birth, are well familiar with the concept of global warming.

In South Florida where I grew up it typically started by mid-April, and in most years would extend well into October.

The technical term we used then was "Summertime" however.


I well remember one occasion where my mother took a thermometer out into our back yard in direct sunlight in August to see whether the temperature that the Chamber of Commerce proclaimed was indeed 89. Shortly thereafter the thermometer shattered from the heat!
So much for that particular misinformation!

We didn't have air conditioning until I was a Senior in High School, and then it was only a couple of rather ineffective window units placed in the louvered glass windows that were common in our Cinder Block homes of that era.

But they were a far sight better than the old metal fans we had for 'cooling' prior to that.
All they were good for was that we kids could yell into them from behind and listen to the bizarre things they would do to our squeeky little voices.
Hey, Nintendo hadn't been invented yet, we had to amuse ourselves!

No one could really get a good nights sleep then, you were soaked all night long.
It never really cools off in Florida in the summer like it does here in the Carolinas.
Your sweat when you sleep, when you arise, and soon after you towel off from your morning shower your start the entire process over.

Lovely memories, those!
No wonder our mothers, most of whom were stay at home back then, were short tempered and lacking in patience with we heathen kids.
I don't remember a June Cleaver among them.
At least my mom never wore a cocktail dress and pearls when she did her daily chores.

But we had many ways to entertain ourselves and beat the summer doldrums.

The corner drug store was only a couple of blocks away, and was owned and operated by a wonderful French Canadian man by the name of Rene'. He even delivered prescriptions to those in the neighborhood who could not get out to pick them up.

It was a wonderful place to hang out, and Rene seemed to enjoy having us around.
He knew all of us by name, and he knew our parents if we did get out of line.
Candies galore, Mary Janes, Sweet Tarts (the giant ones that one could make last an entire day), Sugar Daddies, and a host of other wonderful tooth rotting specials were available for a nickle or a dime.

We all knew when our favorite comics were due each month.
When I was in grade school they were only a dime, and when they increased the price to 12 cents we all screamed. But we still bought them by the skein.
The Batman, Superman, the Archie Series, and later on Spiderman and the Fantastic Four were favorities.
It's hard to imagine now, but WWII was only 15 to 20 years removed during our childhood.
Desert Storm is 16 years in the past from us now!
My male buddies and I liked the War comics of the era.
Sargeant Rock and Easy Company was our favorite.
I just recently realized that series was based on the Easy Company of the 506th P.I.R./101st Airborne that is depicted in "Band of Brothers"
We didn't know we were getting some history thrown in with our cheap amusement!

The Coke machine kept the drinks ice cold, unlike today, and in bottles.
In my opinion they never taste as good in either cans or the plastic bottles of today.
We saved the bottles until we could redeem them to buy, surprise!
More Coke and candy! What a country!
Diet Coke? You've got to be joking! The way we all sweat (OK, perspired for you faint at heart) we never worried about too much weight.
And we had a diversion for amusement that is totally unfamiliar to most kids today.
It was called "Playing Outside".
A mysterious concept to be sure.
First one opened the break in the wall most houses still have.
It's called a "Door".
Then one went through the door into "The Outdoor World".
And we actually played baseball, football and basketball, on real fields, and on real asphalt courts. I would leave home right after breakfast for the local elementary school field, come home for lunch, and then stay out playing ball until supper time.
And quite often after supper we were out in the street playing touch football until it was too dark to see the ball.
Our thumbs may have not been particularly well developed, but we for the most part had no problem in keeping ourselves from porking out.
Sometimes we just ran, for the sake of running, and when not running we rode "bikes"
Not the ones most folks have in their homes now, when they don't have clothes hanging on them they are "ridden", but the rider never gets out of their room.

No, these bikes actually moved from place to place, and we had to deal with flat tires, scraped knees, dogs nipping at our heels, etc.
And also the occasional bully, when we strayed into the wrong block.
Speaking of bullies, and looking back now I realize some of them were actually thugs.
Our parents didn't always bail us out when we encountered them.
And I don't ever remember anyone being led out of elementary or Junior High in handcuffs for fighting, either.
We were expected to learn to take care of ourselves in normal circumstances.
And our teachers, including the principal and coaching staff had a unique solution of their own for dealing with bullies and those that started fights.
It was called a "paddle", and they administered it effectively.
The reaction to a paddling when your little darling received one from the parent of that day was to determine whether it was warranted and fairly delivered.
If so, the next event in the sequence was commonly another paddling (or 'beatin, as Bill Cosby calls it) at home!

The fear of one kept most of us out of trouble.
I never got one in school, and neither did any of my chums.
And none of us have ever spent a night in jail, either.

All of the parents in our world conspired against us.
If they saw one of us doing something we shouldn't, our mom's knew about it before we even got home.
They dealt with it themselves normally.
The most serious offenses got you the dreaded "Wait until your dad gets home!"
That was akin to being told that Christmas had been cancelled, at least for you.


Mr Lizard, one of the many sneaky reptiles and other creatures that allow us to live here on their lot.














But, I digress. It was hot! And it's hot here today, the air temp will reach 99 or so.
And I have my A/C going as I write this.

But we played outside anyhow.
My own dear mother, when she had enough of us on any given summers day
(normally by 9:00am she had reached that point)
would shoo us outside, and then lock the door on us!
"Find something to do! If you are bleeding or need to use the bathroom let me know.
Otherwise stay outside and play!"
When we got older and complained about boredom she would put us to work.

Queen Felicia tells me that her punishment from Nana for admitting boredom on a summer's day was to be put to task ironing.
She hates ironing to this day, and avoids it like a tax audit.
"I'm doing it, but I ain't liking it!"

Me, there was always something to do around the yard in Florida.
By the time I finished mowing the front and started on the back, the front had already grown back.
And now I do the yard work for exercise and to maintain my sanity (What is left of it)
Go figure!

Simply put, it is supposed to get hot this time of year, especially south of the Mason Dixon line.
Go out and enjoy The Creators world anyway, and then come back into the cool and have a cold drink.
Watch less T.V. (unless it's baseball of course), listen to your favorite music, walk, sit on your deck and porch, and get yourselves a grill if you don't have one.
There is something primal and grounding about cooking over charcoal (my apologies to Hank Hill, but propane does not give food the proper flavor).
If you're lucky enough to have friends and family in the area, hang out together and enjoy life.

Teach your kids to play ball, and take those confounded computers and video games away from them!
They do retard their social skills, their imagination, and they also make them fat little couch piggies!

If you have musuems in your area, take them!
They are air conditioned, and they might even learn something accidentally.


The Queen during a recent visit to the Mariner's museam in Newport News VA., talking to her sister K on the phone.
She didn't know I was lurking underneath the exact replica of the U.S.S. Monitor playing Candid Camera.


Give them a book to read.
(please, no more Harry Potter! How about Mark Twain, C.S. Lewis, H.G Wells, Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, etc)
In short, let them play and develop their own imaginations.
I know that we can't simply let them go off on their own, as we could those forty some odd years ago.
It isn't safe, there are too many perverts and evil folks lurking about.
That is a reality, and a great sadness to me.
But there are far worse investments in your future than sitting there in your favorite lawn chair under a shade tree with a cold drink and a good book while you watch your kids play.

We could all do more of that.

Happy Summer everyone!